What a circus!

Dave and I took Ellie to the circus last Saturday. Some new friends from church were taking their kids, so we decided to go too. Tickets were $15 for adults. We’re cheap people, so $30 to be entertained, while not breaking the budget, is not something we do every day. Dave and Ellie have never gone though, so we thought it would be a fun family activity. It was in the parking lot of the greyhound bus station, which should have been our first clue. Our second clue should have been the circus tent, a ratty red and yellow affair that looked like it would be a death trap if any inclement weather came up. But, like P.T. Barnum is supposed to have said, there’s a sucker born every minute, and we were the suckers. We shelled out our 30 bucks (kids get in free!) and went in. The benches around the ring were about 6 inches wide, so we balanced our rear ends on them as best we could and waited for the show to start. It was supposed to start at 4:30, but of course they waited and waited, hoping I think to let our kids have enough time to wear us down with their whining for the ridiculously overpriced snow cones, popcorn, and cotton candy. Finally, they started the show. Out came the 5 performers that were the entire circus staff. They did a reasonably good tightrope and acrobatic act for 10 minutes, and then announced a 15 minute “intermission!” They then spent 20 minutes trying to sell $4 coloring books to the kids, who were still bored and whiny. If I remember correctly, we then got to witness one of those horribly lame clown acts. At this point I was ready to leave. But no, here comes the “World’s Smartest Horse!” Out from behind the curtain came this tiny pony. His owner led him by his lead rope in circles until the poor horse looked like it was about to fall over. Apparently, this was the horse dancing. After that impressive showing, they put two 6 inch high hurdles in the ring. As the pony was led around the ring, it got thunderous applause for jumping over these things. Let me just tell you we were desperate for ANY entertainment. Following the “World’s Dizziest Horse” came “Shrek’s Donkey!” For only 5 little dollars we could come down and get our picture with the donkey. Now came another intermission, presumably so we could consume more junk food at 3 and 4 dollars a pop, get our picture with Shrek’s Donkey for a fiver, and buy one of their balloons for four little dollars, now reduced to TWO little dollars! The sound of cheap balloons popping filled the air as we sat in despair on our tiny benches, with our numb derrieres and bored children. The show ended with a repeat of the first act, minus the tightrope. We couldn’t get out of there fast enough while behind us, the ringleader reminded us to come back for the next showing at 7:00! Not likely. We ended our ghetto circus experience by taking the kids to dinner at a McDonald’s playplace that was almost as dirty as the circus had been. Somehow it was a fitting end to the night.